Have you ever read articles of “solutions” for Christian singlehood? I, myself, have read far too many. They usually say things like, “While you’re waiting, here are a few things you can do: serve the church with all that extra free time you’ve got, find a career you really love, and make sure you get plenty of exercise.”

Is this truly the best we can hope for? Don’t think about it too much and maybe you’ll meet someone while you’re stacking chairs after youth group. Distraction. Busyness. Diffusion. Repression. Just find any way to pass the time.

James talks about the conflicts and disputes happening in his church, and he says it is because of the “cravings at war within them.” (James 4:1, NRSV) Verse 3 says

You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures.

What is it that I am passionate about? Do I live my life in such a way so that I satisfy my desires, my passions? Do I “treat myself” a little too often? Am I pursuing a career because it’s something I’m passionate about? What about a relationship? Am I serving the church because I am passionate about it? Or is all of this because I am passionate about Christ?

I want to be a person who does not live life to satisfy her passions, but to be one who is consumed by the Passion of Christ. 

Ask yourself whether your desires are ruling you.

Verse 5 says

Or do you suppose that it is for nothing that the scripture says, “God yearns jealously for the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

You think your desires burn unbearably within you, your dreams and promises from God; you’ve got NOTHING on the Spirit of God. HE burns within you, and He yearns jealously for YOU. You do know that those good desires come from God Himself?

Do you not realize that this is what Psalm 37:4 means?

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

It means, not that He will give you what you want, but that He will put NEW desires in your heart; holy desires, an irresistible desire for Him. We must find ourselves in the space where, even if we have none of the things that we desire so greatly, we find we are deeply satisfied in Christ.

Let the fire of the Holy Spirit set your heart aflame. I have seen radical transformation in my own life, because I let God give me the desires of my heart.

Whether my desires are fulfilled or unfulfilled for the moment, I remain satisfied in Christ. The despair of waiting can’t take away from the joy, and the sweetness of fulfillment won’t sway me from my love of Christ.

Let your affections be for Him only. Learn to be sustained by sufficiency of Christ.