This is a blog post that only one person in the history of the universe could write, and that person is me—with my love of the Bible and my love of Hanson, this is something that has been burning in my chest for something like twenty years, ever since I read Ecclesiastes in my early teen years. All translations are my own.

Friendship in Proverbs

A friend loves in all seasons; and a brother or sister is born for distress. Prov. 17:17

One of the biggest hits of yesteryear, which is rapidly approaching its thirtieth anniversary, was a song released by some long-haired blond homeschool kids, a band of three brothers called Hanson. They blew immediately to international stardom with their utter smash hit MMMBop, which is usually remembered for its nonsensical chorus of “du bops” and “duba dops.” They were raised on doo-wop and early rock ‘n’ roll, and their simple rhyme scheme in their lyrics and old-fashioned musical style still reflect this.

However, if one takes a second listen and pays attention to the lyrics of the verses, it is clear that this song has a deep message, which was ripped directly from the pages of the Wisdom Literature of the Old Testament. And soon the made up word “mmmbop” will also have a relevant meaning.

Verse one starts off this way:

You have so many relationships in this life / only one or two will last / you go through all the pain and strife / then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast. //

So hold onto the ones who really care / in the end they’ll be the only ones there / when you get old and start losing your hair, / can you tell me who will still care? // … in an mmmbop they’re gone.

If we take a look at Proverbs 18:24, we can render this verse, which is very difficult in Hebrew, roughly this way:

A friendly person has many acquaintances; but there is a companion (lit. one who loves) that clings tighter than a brother or sister.

In a delightful interplay on this Proverbial idea of seasons or moments, of loyal friends for all time, we see that Hanson describes the flighty, fair-weather friend as gone in an mmmbop, that is, in an instant—probably more quickly than we can sing those two syllables!

The meaning of this verse is debated, and therefore is rendered differently in any translation one may read. This verse is, technically speaking, an antithetic bicola, meaning the two clauses of the sentence portray opposite ideas. Thereforem within this binary expression is encompassed the whole truth about friendship.

The first half of the verse can alternately be translated thusly: “A person of many friends is slated for only self-destruction”; “There are friends who are for only ruin,” and “A person of many friends brings his own ruin.” The idea is—in stark contrast with the one who loves that cleaves tighter than a sibling—that some friends are only superficially interested in you, and are nowhere to be found when trouble comes. In an mmmbop they’re gone.

Proverbs further fleshes out these ideas of friendship in 14:20-21:

Even their neighbors/friends disdain the poor person; but the rich person has many who love them.

The one who despises their neighbor sins; but the one who shows deep compassion the poor—how happy/blessed!

The first verse states a reality, even if harsh. It is easy for resentment to build, for instance, between Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani, when Chandler is out thousands of dollars in the first seasons of Friends because Joey is a broke, out-of-work actor. Contrary to that, take Billie Eilish as another example. She said she recently realized that the people who surrounded her—who she considered to be her friends—were not in fact her real friends, seeing as they were only on her payroll. She decided after this to enforce professional boundaries with these people she worked with, and to rekindle old friendships, or forge new ones with people who truly cared for her, and not simply her money.

The Unpredictability of Life

The second verse, and later the bridge of MMMBop say:

Plant a seed plant a flower plant a rose / you can plant any one of those / keep planting to find out which one grows / it’s a secret no one knows //

Can you tell me? (If it’s gonna be a daisy or a rose?) / You say you can but you don’t know / Can you tell me which flower’s gonna grow? / You say you can but you don’t know

Here is where I was struck to the heart when I read Ecclesiastes, for its near complete parallel of 11:6:

In the morning, sow your seed and at evening do not let your hand rest; for you do not know which will flourish, whether this one or that one, or whether the two of them both will be good.

In the context of life, and especially friendships, this is a heartening reminder that we have no way of predicting which relationships in our lives will in fact flourish. Just seeing my life play out since the major upheaval that was my move to Germany has brought some shocking lost connections, as well as the pleasant surprised of some other friendships being restored to me.

Overall it is apparent to me that not only were the three Hanson brothers, Isaac, Zac and Taylor, raised on a steady diet of Scripture, but that this song has an incredibly deep message of wisdom to convey. It embraces the reality that life happens and things change, and that we should be diligent to sow our seeds of friendships, in spite of the fact that some losses are inevitable. After all, there are always one or two friends along the way who are closer to us than kin, and are nothing but loyal. This is one of the sweetnesses of life!